I'M IN LOVE....

YES...it's true i am in love again...only this time it is the most right it has ever been....this person is always in my heart and very close...

I AM IN LOVE YES IT'S TRUE...with ME! For so long i have moped about settling discontent with the way the people, my life and everything around me has been...its time to stop the nonsense and live for me today, now and all that comes with it.

I have realized i am not happy here in kansas and never will be so i am up and moving out by Springs end...i swore i would never venture west again to that hell hole of a city which is San Francisco and i'm not im taking my life toward better weather and hopefully a better life...Speaking with "Mr.C" again has really shown me that if i want things to be better than i actually have to make them better. Now i o not know nor expect that anything will come from me moving there in terms of my pursuit of him, that chance that COULD be there someday...but all i know is his words, his presence in my life have greatly changed me...and i do miss him...but more importantly i miss being happy...full of life and energy where anything is possible...things could have easily been different from the get go had i not been harping on my life and how horrible it was...

So i am taking action and control to get my body, mind and spirit just the way i want them to be and create i life i can live day in and day out that i love surrounded by people who truly matter to me!

As for "FAMILY" IT IS SOOO time to cut all ties...if you are dead weight to me then you are just that...i do not need you bringing me down one second longer...

For Friends they have to start proving their worth to me...one of the reasons i am so drawn to "Mr. C" is that he has time and time again in the short period we have been speaking has proven his place and worth in my life and no matter what happens he will always be a part of my life...Same Goes to my roommate "Yes Lord" and my friend "KTFB"(That is kill the French bitch for those that really want to know) THESE ARE the 3 people in my life whose presence has mattered in all of this mess and without their encouragement and support i would still be lying on the couch in a drunken stuper trying to sleep...my life away....

It does irk me it's taken a nudge from these people and when all along i should have been loving myself from the start...but at least i know i can count on these three people to not tell me what i should do but defiantly be a positive nudge in the right directions...so as i said before on my fb...


"Its GO TIME MOTHERFUCKERS" I WANT WHAT MY HEART WANTS NOW I HAVE TO FIGHT TO MAKE IT A REALITY!!"